Oh, You Touch My Squadala!
by SpaceManiak98
Summary: Zelda CDI, Gwonam and Impa doin' the nasty. Nothin' more than that.


Ohh, you touch my squadala!

"Impa, you are slut!" Gwonam said to the old hag as he sat on his carpet eyeing her up and down.

"You smell like shit!" retorted the wrinkly old woman.

"You're so old, you probably can't even suck dick anymore!"

"That's not funny!" Zelda, who is under Impa's supervision said.

"I'm certain it's alright dear," Impa says to her and she strokes Zelda's cheek. "Now would you mind leaving so that I can have a word with Gwonam?"

Zelda, reluctantly leaves, looking behind her as she walks out the door, worried.

Immediately after Zelda left the room, Impa pulled open her robe, revealing saggy, wrinkled breasts that hung down to her mid-waist. "You want to try me you piece of shit?" Gwonam stares in amazement not only at this lady's breasts, but her up forward attitude as well. He lets out only a soft sentence: "Your tits are beautiful!"

Impa blushes from the compliment, walking up to him slowly. "That isn't the only thing that's beautiful." Gwonam stops, mouth opened wide, reaching out to touch her saggy tits. "What else is beautiful?"

Impa reaches downward, tugging open his robe, quickly pulling down his Depends. Letting out a small chuckle, she grabs onto his wrinkly old cock, muttering only: "This."

Gwonam was _barely_ hard, due to the fact that he was so old. "Stop! I need my Viagra, or at least some Extenze!"

"Oh my!" Impa stated. "So I guess, you're so old, you can't get it up!"

"Shut up you shrively cunt!" Gwonam snapped. Quickly he dragged her head downward stopping her laughing as she began to choke on his limp dick. "You're so ugly you can't make me hard! I'm not that old, so make me hard!" Impa quickly began to speed up the pace, as an old pro would. It appeared that she had many years of experience, but she screwed up quite a bit as if she never really given head to a man before.

Gwonam still unable to get hard, froze in excitement as his old hips wiggled slightly, his hump back arching backwards slightly, unable to hold long, he released his seed into the old ladies mouth. After swallowing _ALL_ of it, she let out a loud school girl giggle. "You still can't get hard you old piece of shit!"

"That wasn't even good head! Your face looks like the Faces of Evil, but any of them could get me harder than you could!"

"Oh shut up! I bet you can't even get my pussy wet!"

Gwonam was appalled, he could _not_ deny the challenge! "Like I'd want to suck your dried up old pussy anyway! It's probably got gray hair all over and is dryer than the Gerudo desert!" Impa smiled at the comments, pulling down her granny panties all the way down to her knees revealing her old shapely hips with the texture of oatmeal. "As you can see, I shaved this morning! I just bet you couldn't even do it, c'mon, I sucked your dick, you must do me", she said looking at him coyly.

Gwonam let out a low groan as he thought about licking and sucking that wrinkly thing. Without a word, he leaned inwards, rubbing his bearded face against it. Quickly he stuck his tongue in there and sucked and licked like a newborn kitten would to a mother's teat. He found it disgusting, especially the smell. It smelled like piss, peppermints, and rotten fish at the same time, not to mention the fact that it felt like leather. He could feel her actually getting wet _already_! After that, he immediately removed his face and stuck two fingers in; anything to get his face out of there!

Impa began to moan: "Oh yes, oh yes, oh my!" after hearing that, Gwonam pulled back. Impa had a scowl on her face. "Why did you stop?"

"All you said was to get you wet and you were plenty wet down there," Gwonam cleverly said to the old woman.

"The Trifore predicts that you will get laid today".

Gwonam had paused momentarily. It had been _so_ long! Even if it was a shriveled up old prune of a pussy, or an ass that looked like oatmeal with too much water, he didn't care. His dick was still limp, but that wouldn't matter to that chubby, boney, bitch. He was sure that sticking in his old limp dick would be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway, but it didn't matter at this point. He was getting old, who knew when the next change to get laid would be?

"Fine, but this is only because you've got _beautiful_ tits," Gwonam sat down in King Harkinian's chair, he needed to get back at The King anyway for sending him to bizarre places and to fetch people that he didn't even know.

Impa laughed, "No, no, not there! On the floor, like young teenagers!"

Gwonam rolled his eyes and groaned again. 'Why did she care where she got laid,' he thought to himself.

She got down on all fours. "I got a new position I want to try!" this proved to be somewhat _interesting_ to Gwonam, being that he had only tried missionary girl-on-top. Impa directed him so that his dick was in her face, and his hands on her hips, but he was on his knees. She ordered him to push forward and thrust into her mouth. He tried it and it was very pleasurable, but unfortunately, like before, he released too soon. Then they tried doggy style being that her asshole would probably be tighter than her old pussy was anyway.

It went on for a while, Gwonam groaned and was covered in sweat as was Impa, as the two grinded their old bodies together in hot fiery passion. Impa replied back her usual: "Oh yes, oh yes, oh my!" Gwonam replied as he began to climax: "SQUADALA! WE'RE OFF!" and that was only four minutes in. After another minute, he had already cum. He smiled: "Looks like I've cummed all over you!"

Impa had an unpleased look on her face. "It was fun, but I think you've proved to me that I really am an old lesbian. For some weird reason, I didn't get into it as I usually do when I'm with Zelda. I'm sorry but this is a one-time experience."

Gwonam was disappointed when he heard that. Why would he be disappointed? Did he actually just enjoy his time with the old lady? Usually they just bicker all day but for once they tried something different. Gwonam was sad. He murmered out one last sentence: "But you are more _beautiful_ than the birds!" Impa turned back, "Oh my, you just don't get it," and with that she left the room, going to get Zelda before The King came back home from getting dinnur.

Thus ending this story.


End file.
